One girl. One college. Three thousand guys. This blog is a blow-by-blow [yes, that was a dirty pun] account of the social (and usually sexual) misadventures of a commitment-phobic and ironically promiscuous virgin.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Monday night escapades

Well last night I had planned on turning in early, which I plan on doing just about every night. Around six, Court IMed me asking me to get stoned and see Borat with her - how could I say no to that? I tried being productive before we left, but instead of doing work all I did was laundry. Even procrastination can breed some form of productivity.

Anyway, four loads of laundry later we were off to the movies. Okay, that's a lie. We were smoking in my room. Her Sobe wasn't working, so we had to resort to using a bowl that found its way into my hands after a little police raid scare. It was a lefty bowl, which was weird, I had never used one before and it was rather annoying since I am most definitely right handed. Two bowls later we actually were leaving. It had been awhile since either of us had smoked out of a bowl and we forgot about the delayed reaction. We started walking out of the door before we realized, "Shit. We're kind of stoned." Anyway, we practically ran to the movie because of an intense bout with paranoia. "Do you think they'll sell out? Oh God, what if it's over?"

Not only did we get there on time, we had to wait in a line with like five people that took forever. We saw this "older" woman if you will with her 20-30 something boyfriend and that my dear friends, was a trip and a half. "It's the fucking odd couple" to quote Courtney. I thought the guy at the ticket booth was this guy, Eric, who used to date my friend Hannah. Once again paranoia struck and I acted like maybe the sketchiest person ever. I wouldn't look the guy in the eye and kept asking Court to buy my ticket, and I wouldn't let her say my name. I mean you never know, you don't want to get into one of those messy Hi/Bye situations with someone you know, but don't really want to talk to. The movie itself was amazing. Amazing in the sense that I couldn't tell what was real and what was staged and that itself was crazy enough for me, let alone what was actually going on. I strongly suggest you check out Borat, especially if you plan on seeing an "enhanced" screening.

Later I went over to Madge's room. We watched The Office and then hooked up for a few hours. Yes, hours. Stupid virginity. I don't know why I am so attracted to him, but I am. He's shallow in the way that I love, and appreciates a Marc Jacobs jacket. He's from L.A., go figure. Regardless, I have yet to tell him that I'm a virgin. That's usually one of the first things I tell a guy - I love the disappointment. In this case, I'm kind of hesitant. I know, I know, "if he doesn't respect your decision..." yeah, yeah, save it for the sex-ed lecture. It has nothing to do with him pressuring so much as me just wanting to have sex, with him in particular. Seeing as I've only met him twice, clearly I'm not just dropping trow (spelling?), but God I wish I was easy. Based on what he can do with his other extremities, I have a feeling he'd probably be pretty good. NOT FAIR. Why can't I be one of the slutty girls? Why couldn't I just have a penis so that I would jump at the chance to have sex with anyone, let alone someone I'm actually attracted to.

I told Katrina today, and she approved to some extent. Her first words were, "he's bad news," but she explained that she was basing that on an impression from her sophomore year (they're bother seniors), and that in retrospect, he was actually better than most of the douchebags he apparently hangs out with. I know he's an asshole. That's what I like. Strangely enough, he's also kind of sweet. He likes me sleeping over. He's kind of a cuddler - which I am not, but for some reason don't mind as much in this case. In the morning, I look like shit, but he still is kind of cute about it. I don't think I ever let Bob (name changed to protect the innocent), who I was hooking up with for about three months, see me without makeup. I also never slept over. Looking back, Bob was kind of a dick. But in a really dorky way. Oh well, we stopped talking after I hooked up with a friend of his while we were both in Puerto Rico. Maybe I was a little bit of a bitch, too.

Alright, maybe, just maybe I should pay attention in class. There's only twenty-five minutes left. Twenty-four. I'm sitting next to a guy who is pretty cute. He walked me home on Halloween night when I was drunk and Court and Kristen had left me in Unique Pizza. He's sweet. Maybe I'll make out with him.


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