Textual Tension.

If you missed it in the title of the post, there has clearly been some new developments in my strictly textual relationship with Chuck. Also in case you missed it, I think I am so clever punning textual off of sexual. Get it, "textual" and "sexual" rhyme. Not to mention, they are both (strangely enough) accurate descriptions of my relationship with Chuck when he was here and since his departure.


"Did i ever tell
u i don't like
u cause i like
u too much and
u scare me"

followed by,

"Oh little moth
if u only knew u were the
flame and i the
miserable
moth...so the cycle goes."

I tell him too much. I must stop it. He's too interesting. And also too far away. I would like to be friends with him, but I think it's too precarious a situation for me to bother investing myself in further.

No Nik update, sadly. But in awkward "oh geez" news, Mash, the cafe military man, has invited me to a humanist panel next Monday. He thinks that I will have some thoughtful commentary that will really add to the event. I think I am flattered by the ego inflation, but not nearly as impressive as seems to think.

I never followed up with that last post, but I'll get to it at some point. It's just some general concern about attachment, Chuck, and rehashing some of the tensions that arose last year between me and Court.

That seems kind of heavy. I think I'll start tomorrow with my thoughts on Hand Jobs instead.