One girl. One college. Three thousand guys. This blog is a blow-by-blow [yes, that was a dirty pun] account of the social (and usually sexual) misadventures of a commitment-phobic and ironically promiscuous virgin.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Great Expectations.

French, Feel, Finger, Fuck. The Four Fs of hooking up, usually taught to gossiping junior high students to as "the bases," never change (though some aruge that "French, Finger, Suck, Fuck" might be the bases of the future. What does change is expectations.

Sorry for the hertronormative slant, but what do guys expect in a "hook up" when you get to college? In high school making out, maybe hitting second base, was all a guy could really expect. Nowadays, it seems like guys go into hooking up with this "I hope I get off" mentality, which doesn't mean that they're assuming they're going to get laid, but a lot seem to feel like just seeing some nipples is enough to justify a girl being topless in his bed.

To be fair, I go into hookups with an "I hope I get off" attitude (okay, fine, with me it's more like an "I had better get off, or else this was totally not worth it" attitude), and I have a strict "give and receive" policy: If he does not give an orgasm, he will not be receiving one. I don't think I am particularly fussy or hard to please - I generally know what I like and I don't mind pointing someone in the right direction - but with some guys it seems to be a fruitless effort.

That being said, the give and receive policy also usually determines the boundaries of a hookup for me. If he goes down, then I don't mind doing the same, unless of course I am tired and just want to go to sleep - if that's the case I'll just say something alluding to the fact that I'm done and really don't care whether or not he is and then go to sleep (fine, I'm a jerk).

I guess I am just curious to know how other people feel out hookups. I know everyone has their own comfort levels, and experience, but really how does either person in a hookup know what the other wants if it's not explicitly stated? What are most people hoping to do, expecting to do, and willing to do? I pose these questions in an "ideal" situtaion, I mean no pressure, what is the natural prorgression of a one-time (or maybe just first time) hookup? Are college students usually just hitting doubles, and how rare are homeruns?

It seems like not that many people (here at least) have (or have had) "casual" sex. With a few exceptions, most people have only had sex with a few people, but I have run into some guys (Mad, for example) who assume that if she's naked in your bed, she's all for it. One thing that I'm happy about is that, even the few guys I've encountered who are expecting to fuck first, talk later, none of them have been disappointed, or put any pressure on me to do anything I didn't want to. I've found that I set the boundaries in bed, which is good - but maybe that's why I'm not worry to get naked and hop in.


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