One girl. One college. Three thousand guys. This blog is a blow-by-blow [yes, that was a dirty pun] account of the social (and usually sexual) misadventures of a commitment-phobic and ironically promiscuous virgin.

Thursday, November 30, 2006

A helping hand.

I have a question that is more burning than Paris Hilton's syphilis:

How do guys feel about Hand Jobs?

I mean, I know that some girls think that any way you touch a penis it feels good, but I think every guy in the world will acknowledge that isn't the case. I mean there are a lot of factors that play into a hand job, and each guy likes it differently, so there is no "right" way to do it. It's a little awkward to do in the first place, and positioning can make it damn near impossible.

So how do you make sure you go about it right? And how do you make it less awkward than it already is? I mean, I know a lot of guys would say that fingering a girl is more complicated (and I don't doubt that, unless you've gotten enough practice it can be hard to know exactly what to do), but honestly I think that Hand Jobs are just as difficult and are actually physically more awkward to perform.

Not to mention, there is always lingering thought: "does he wish he just did it himself?" Especially if it kind of drags on, and even if he looks (and sounds) like he's enjoying it, after a few minutes, my wrist hurts, and I'm wondering if it's ever going to end. Some guys are pretty foward about saying how they like it, or even guiding your hand for a second just to get the right rhythm going, but I think others just sit and suffer through some pretty miserable hand jobs.

The biggest issue is that it's easy to make a hand job a literally painful experience. Penises do not come with a self-lubrication system, and everyone knows that chaffing anywhere is painful. As awkward as it might be, I think guys would be better off if they just suggested add some lotion into the equation.

I'm also always afraid of gripping too hard. I play it safe and start off really softly and wait for some sort of sign to add any pressure. I know that I would much rather a guy start slowly and softly when he's working on me, so that I can build up to the point where it feels the best, but if he starts out too rough than it's harder to get him to ease up without freaking out that he's hurting me, which kind of kills the mood. I've talked to a few guys who said that the worse thing in the world is a girl with a kung-fu grip, but they also added that they don't usually say anything because they don't want to offend the girl. I mean, that's a nice thought, but you're not doing a girl any favors by letting her go back out into the world cutting off the circulation in the crotch of the next guy she hooks up with.

All of that just makes me wonder whether or not guys appreciate hand jobs at all. Would they rather just skip them all together and then finish themselves off later? Is it always better if a guy does it himself? I know a lot of guys aren't expecting to get laid that first night, but is a hand job a satisfying alternative? Does anyone still give Hand Jobs anymore?



Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just gave one, to my boyfriend, a few hours ago. I had to comment because he loves my kung-fu grip! You have no idea how many times I've heard 'I love how when you squeeze my cock'. But all guys are different. I don't usually jerk to completion because I really like giving head and screwing. God I've been on this blog like 3 minutes and look at what a dirty bitch I sound like already!

10:57 PM


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