One girl. One college. Three thousand guys. This blog is a blow-by-blow [yes, that was a dirty pun] account of the social (and usually sexual) misadventures of a commitment-phobic and ironically promiscuous virgin.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006


I just trudged out of my room to take a quick break from my two hours of concentrated studying. As you may remember, I am a devote follower of The Naked rule, which is why I decided to peel off my sweat pants and stained long sleeved T-shirt and put on something more appropriate to be seen wearing in public.

The dining hall puts food out at night for students who might need a little more substance for a long night of studying, which means that half of the dorm is usually either sitting around the round tables in study groups, alone huddled in front of their computer screens at the end of the long tables, or hoarding food in the servery. The likelihood of running into someone that A.) I have hooked up with B.) I want to hook up with or C.) I am not sure whether we hooked up or not is pretty high, especially on a Tuesday night, since a "normal" campus social scene only exists from Thursday through Saturday - from Sunday through Wednesday, the dorm dining halls are the closest things you'll find to a party. Except maybe the library. Yeah, we're mutha' fuckin' party animals.

Consequently, I thought I might run into Nik who is a frequent late night scavenger, so I decided to throw on the Jeans I had been wearing earlier and a little black hoodie. Val was on her way out and I didn't want to make her wait up for me, so I told her to give me a fifteen second countdown - big mistake. By the time she got to fourteen I thought I was pretty much ready, I had zipped up on jeans and had one arm through my hoodie. I didn't even bother grabbing my card or my keys since she had hers.

As soon as we got to the stairwell, I started to put my hair down, out of the "tight bun" 'do that I don't think anyone should be seen in outside of their bedroom. I was pretty focused on finger combing my hair until we got into the dining hall. By that time I was confident, cool, and collected. I looked around and didn't see Nik or anyone else I like running into (male or female), and I was a little bummed, but more hungry. I made my three sandwiches (peanut butter and jelly, jelly, buttered toast, and butter and jelly on toast... if anyone cares), and then Val and I awkwardly strutted out trying not to drop any of our precious cargo, which in addition to our sandwiches also included a bowl of cereal, three cups of milk, and a cup of tea between the two of us. Like I said, awkward.

Anyway, I saw this guy who lives with Lefty on our way out of the back entrance and he kind of gave me a funny look, which I obviously assumed was in response to the feast we were carrying. While we were making our food, Val had tried to introduce me to one of our next-door neighbors, who was having a hard time looking me in the eye - or even directly at me - and kept averting her eyes out of my direction. I just assumed that she was shy, and passed it off, just like I passed off the funny look from Lefty's roommate.

When we finally got back to our room, and I had put down my plate and cups, I suddenly realized why they had been acting so strange.

My hoodie was unzipped right down to my navel. Yes, my bra was exposed. Yes, my bright pink bra with contrasting lace trim was fully visible to anyone within ten yards of me. Yes, it was embarrassing. No, I have no idea how many of the 60 people that I walked past noticed. No, I don't want to know.

On the bright side, at least I was wearing a bra.


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