One girl. One college. Three thousand guys. This blog is a blow-by-blow [yes, that was a dirty pun] account of the social (and usually sexual) misadventures of a commitment-phobic and ironically promiscuous virgin.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

twelve minutes.

Today's Tuesday transpired as traumatically as the last. You've got to love that alliteration.

Just when it feels like every thing is looking up, it all comes crashing down.

Maybe its because I only got forty minutes of sleep last night. Maybe its because I got an email from a teaching assistant saying that my grade is in jeopardy on account of two missing homeworks. Maybe its because its so cold.

The last twenty-four hours have brought me tumbling back down to reality.

I am not the girl who gets the guy. I am not the girl who goes on dates. I am not the girl who has healthy long-term relationships.

I am the girl who manages to sabotage every potential relationship she's ever had. I am the girl who always tries to look cute because on the inside I 'm just mess.

I am the girl who misses him by twelve minutes.

I missed my five o'clock coffee date by twelve minutes. I was at the banking fixing a problem I was having with my accounts, and I ran out as soon as I was finished. My friend told me that he had left a few minutes before. She didn't call to say he was waiting, she didn't call and say that he was leaving, she didn't try to stop him. She just waited five minutes and then called me to tell me he had left. I had been so excited. So fucking excited.

I didn't see Nik this morning at breakfast like Austin said I would. I'm not going to ask him to the formal. I don't need to add "REJECTION" to the list of things that have gone wrong today. Or tomorrow. Or the day after that.

I wonder what would have happened if I had gotten there in time.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

but you have control over all those things, you can be the relationship girl, you can be the date girl, you can be whatever you want, but while it seems you are actively pursuing numerous boys, it appears that either a) its not what you want or b) you dont like anyone enough to really make it happen or c) you arent willing to give any of them a chance to make you like them enough, because you're constantly comparing and contrasting. judge them as them, not in comparison

12:47 AM


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