Still haven't...

Asked Nik to the formal. I don't think I am going to do it either, I am way too nervous about it - no matter how much Austin tries to assure me that it's a good idea.

I got into a "fight" with Mr. Perfect. He was complaining about the "disconnect" in our "friendship." I don't know what it is, I just freak out at the thought of alone time with him. In my head I think it's a good idea, but then when he puts an arm around me, or starts stroking my hair, I just freak out. So I avoid it at all costs. But I happen to love him as a friend, so I keep saying that we should hang out more. I don't know, it's not just me though, it's him too.

I talked to Chuck and talked to his little brother on the phone. It was cute and made me smile.

Life is going so well, even though it doesn't seem to be going at all. I'm just content.

Maybe this weekend will be good... I don't even know what that means anymore. I don't know if I want to just hook up with someone. I don't know if I just want to sit around watching a movie. I don't know, I don't know.

Okay, I do kind of just want to hook up with someone, but definitely not like last weekend. Four guys, one night, that's a record I am not looking to break anytime soon. But maybe a "date," or something like it would be nice? I don't want to cuddle or anything, I'm not turning into a sappy estrogen filled teddybear, but I would like to see one of these things turn into something. Or at least a little something more than they've been in the past.